why I give up

abyss.
swallow me whole and make me black
dark, alone, a fleshy sack.
life.
alter me completely and make me shiny and new,
I am a fucked up rendition of what used to be you.
future.
you are foreboding and bleak,
strangle me with worries and make me weak.
heart.
you are a piece of shit that cries,
you can not control your wails that reach up to the skies.
soul.
you are lost and i am drowned,
we can not be saved from this cold ground.
Lord.
where are your footprints in the sand?
why will you not take me home by the hand?

Depravity caught

Why should I care about any of this shit that proclaims importance in society?
I can't grasp meaning in life.
I can't live a life of sheer spiritual depravity.
In a world sucking life out of the already dead.
I'm not okay.
I can not be.
I feel self-centered and hated by one and all at the carnival.

Why do you live in a universe of propriety and piety?
Lover of the works but not of the love behind them.
The bad that you overlook and brush under the rug,
It lives in your heart and festers your soul.
You smell of ingratitude and condemnation.
Caught like a fish on a hook,
your indecencies wash you ashore of your conscious.

Amnesia

Let me lose my sanity, if just for a short while.
Let me forget who I am, give me a small reprieve.
I do not understand this life, nor do I wish to see.
I can not listen to liars and thieves, who rob me of myself.
All that's left is a shell, a shadow of what was, and yet will never be.

Ribbons and Bows

Scratch and shred at the sinews keeping my heart in my chest.
No one knows, i keep myself together with ribbons and bows.
Tear and grind my mind from my skull.
I scream inside, I try to hide.
Rip and knash my lips from my mouth.
I'll speak no further of my questions and doubts.
And no one knows,
I keep myself together with ribbons and bows.

Little Weeper

Trickle down little weeper. Trickle your tears down to my cheeks. Taste my salty, sweet sorrows as they wash away the Clinique. Little weeper, you and I are the same. We cry out but hear no refrain. Little weeper do you cry as I do? Do you cry for lost innocence and childhood? I do. Cry, and Wisdom, she screams. Comfort her little weeper, and dry your tears. I cannot follow you though, but give Wisdom my regards when you join her in her home. I have more sorrows to sort through and more tears to shed. Little weeper, may you weep no more, for I must travel alone in pain, and now you will find company in joy.

Light of Hope

Could he not hear the silence that encroached upon him with frightening speed?
He did not know that he knew her name after all.
She ran towards him but ended up on the wrong side of the world.
He hid in his bottles and shadows as the light danced about his eyelashes.
She couldn't save him from what he sought.
Where does a good girl go to find the dark?
Where does a dark lad go to find the good?
Where can we meet in the middle?
They broke down at the end of the world
They fell off the side of the planet together and came back on the top.
She kissed his cheek with wet lips.
He kissed the tears from her lips.
They drew in new life from each others breath.
Fairytales are not real, but is love?
She wants to say yes but is afraid of the consequences.
She needs the light of the hope he left her with.
He needs her to keep her hope.
It breaks their hearts slowly.
Why can't they let go?
Let go.

gravediggers daughter

she screams in the night
she calls out for you
but you did not run to her
you did not rescue her
and now she lays in her grave
the one she dug herself
the one you buried her in