Live

You think I don't know what you see?
I know.
But do you see what's really there or what you want to be there?
Wake up to the truth.
Let it shine brighter than the sun when you wake.
It's not going anywhere,
So you might as well quit closing the blinds on it.
You can't keep it out,
Just like you can't keep out the cold.
It will penetrate your being,
And shock you into life.
Like an eel shocks it's prey,
Life will claim you,
Take you in,
And make you part of it's whole.
No escape or reprieve.
Why would you want there to be?
I've been sitting here waiting for my life to begin.
Now I realize that I have to get up and start it myself.
And so you must too.
No longer at rest, but in motion.
Moving so fast that you can't even breathe.
Don't forget to take a break once in a while.
Stop and smell the roses.
I always forgot to,
And I missed them in the winter.
Death's strong grip took them and me.
How could I not accept his hand?
I did.
I went gladly.
But you must stay awhile longer.
Live, but don't move too fast.
Keep being amazed, loved, hopeful, and thankful.
The only advice of any great importance that I can offer you would have to be this:
Love and Let Love, because without Love there can not be Life.....

Come Back

You think I don't see?
You think I don't care?
Well who the hell are you?

Fuck the dreams we used to share
They mean nothing to those silly kids there
Sitting on the curb with smoke in the air.

I wish I could make you stay
I miss the friend I used to have
I wish I could make him come back

This life's a sham
A shitty rendevouz between  death and you.
Give it up, just let go.

Why do you want control?
Let the good times roll.
Let the real one in.

Butterfly in Hand

The fog rolls in over my dreams.
My hopes have gone to waste.
Your love can do nothing for me now.

I'm too far away.
Too far to hear your screams;
Too far for you to hear mine.

I'm long gone by now.
Gone away to a world of my own making.
Where I'll never be scared or alone.

You can't come with me.
I'm terribly sorry darling.
This place is just for me.

I wish I could stay here in this world with you.
But I can't stay somewhere I do not belong.
A fish can;t live out of water.

So I will sink into the depths.
I'll let the water wash over my head,
I'll let it fill my lungs and drag me down.

I'm not afraid.
How could I be?
I made this land.

I'm going now.
You can't get me back.
Just like you can't keep a butterfly in your hand.

Words Unheard

The words are there,
On the tip of my tongue.
Or so she said.

My speech is impaired,
stuck with fear.
And then you said,
"Cat's got your tongue."

It's not fair.
You speak so eloquently with others.
But me, you halt and stutter.
Foot in your mouth.

Tell me the words I need to hear.
Write it out.
Thousands of letters left unsent.
Syllables never uttered.

Let them fly,
Out the window,
Down the drive.
And from your heart
Straight to mine.

Thank you St. Augustine

I recently remembered something I had read from St. Augustine that greatly impacted me and comforted me with something very personal I have been dealing with. Although, I think, everyone and anyone can probably relate to this quote, I at this point in time needed to be reminded of this. St. Augustine said, “God has one Son on Earth without sin, but never one without suffering.” I can’t believe something so simple yet so meaningful and carrying the weight of such importance was completely looked over at the time. It’s always a comfort to know that you’re not the only person in the world feeling weighted down by your burdens and insecurities and that God knows that. I felt for awhile that I was just crazy or being over dramatic about my issues, but now I am beginning to see that I’m only human and I’m not alone in my struggles. God is prepared for my brokenness and He loves me all the more for it especially when I lay my burdens down at His feet and give Him my absolute everything. It’s easy to spend time with God and be thankful when everything is peachy keen, but when life throws you a curve ball and it feels like your world  and mind are deteriorating, that’s when your faith is challenged and it becomes all the more important to stick with God and be reminded that He’s gonna stick with you too.

A love for me

Love me for who I am,
Just the simple me.
I'll never change, but I might grow.
You can grow with me, if you want to.
I would like you to.
To live a life of adventures and passion.
Because "to live would be an awfully big adventure."
But to live with you would be grand.
Strolling along the shore hand in hand.
I can see us now, in Italy,
Fiji, Greece, France, Brazil, and the mystic coastline of Ireland.
Just you, me and the rest of the world to conquer.
So come with me, and we shall see,
Where this life will take us.

Shine

I am doing this for me
Finally something for me
So please be happy
That I am here
And alive
No longer living in fear
Alone
I need to do this
Something just for me
Will you please understand?
I would like to know
That I go with your blessing
Please try to look past
Your self and your own needs
I can't worry about your feelings
Especially because I've never given a shit about my own
I placed myself on hold
But no longer
Today is my day
I will shine